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May 9, 2019 - Explore Krystal Keyser's board "Funny & Smart Ass Memes", followed by 578 people on Pinterest. See more ideas about funny, smart ass, memes. 63. “There are two rules in life 1. Never give out all the information”. sarcastic funny quotes and funny sarcasm quotes. 64. “Don’t be using the good scissors for that”. 65. “Some people are like clouds when they disappear it’s a beautiful day”.105. ←Rate | 09-28-2023 07:19 Comments ( 0) “Never eat raw cookie dough” sounds like a lie made up a long time ago by some guy that sold ovens for a living. 6. 108. ←Rate | 09-27-2023 15:48 Comments ( 0) To the thief who stole my anti-depressants, I hope you're happy. 4.Funny how to diet quote. 21. If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. - Abraham Lincoln. 22. Food is a lot of people's thereapy - When we say comfort food, we really mean that. It's releasing dopamine and serotonin in your brian that makes you feel good. - Brett Hoebel.Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. My father said there were two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers. The takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better. – Marlo Thomas. I haven’t failed at anything, I’ve just found all the wrong ways of doing it.150 Life Quotes — Inspiring the Happy, Good and Funny in Life. Enjoy some short, beautiful and meaningful quotes about life. Life is a beautiful journey that is …Contrary to popular belief, I know exactly what I’m doing. Part of the journey is the end. When I drift off, I will dream about you. It’s always you. A famous man once said, ‘we create our own demons’. Give me a break! I’m doing what has to be done. To stave off something worse. Avengers, time to work for a living.There was not a shred of excitement or joy in her voice when she told me, "I'm pregnant." She’s the Founder & CEO of a start-up, and her message was... Edit Your Post Published by Sara Potler LaHayne on Octo...Nia Vardalos. Betsy Farrell. “Becoming a mom to me means that you have accepted that for the next 16 years of your life, you will have a sticky purse.”. Advertisement - Continue Reading Below. 3.Funny Quotes About Life Woman's Day/Getty Images 1. "There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it." ―Mindy Kaling 2. "Life is …Here are the top 25 funny smartass quotes about life that are sure to bring a smile to your face. 1. “Life is short, smile while you still have teeth.” 2. “I may be a smartass, but I’m a damn good one.” 3. “Life is like a roller coaster – full of ups, downs, and a lot of screaming.” 4. “I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy ...Absolutely love the quote, but as a Buddhist I've gotta correct it. It's not by Buddha himself, but a 5th century philosopher Buddhaghosa. The full quote itself? "By doing this you are like a man who wants to hit another and picks up a burning ember or excrement in his hand and so first burns himself or makes himself stink.” Visuddhimagga IX, 23.Enjoy our abortion quotes collection by famous authors, ... Funny, Pro Life, Amusing. 414 Copy quote. ... 112 million abortions performed in America in 1980 amount to a great moral evil, an assault on the sacredness of human life. Ronald Reagan. America, Evil, Religion. 5 Copy quote.Funny Clever Jokes That Make You Sound Smart. There are a lot of ways to make people laugh through a handful of words. But when it comes to a sophisticated audience, an average «pop» joke is not enough. To sound smart and witty, get inspired with these funny clever jokes: Why was 500AD to 900AD known as the Dark Ages?Classical music just confuses all the other voices in my head. 1. 0. A tree house doesn’t have a kitchen, a bedroom, a hallway, a bathroom, a porch, doors, or even a chimney, so please. Just call it a tree box. 2. 0. When you get a deep cut, you get worried when you start bleeding.17 Smartass Comments From Sassy Folks solidsnake4545 Published 09/13/2021 in Funny The internet is full of people just waiting to fire off a clever comeback or funny comment, here are a few of them.Dec 19 2019 explore allan cochnauer jr s board smartass quotes followed by 109 people on pinterest. Searches related to smart ass quotes smart ass quotes smartass quotes about relationships smartass quotes for facebook status smartass quotes images smartass replies funny but smart quotes smart alec quotes sarcastic quotes clever quotes 1.Jul 5, 2023 - Explore 罗达 sparkle Queen 's board "Badass💀 smartass 😼 quotes" on Pinterest. See more ideas about true quotes, words quotes, quotes.Many graduates write humorous quotations in their friends’ yearbooks. Some quotes may be related to their school experience, while others seem entirely random and are simply written to provoke laughter. The following section includes a list...This collection of fun and funny quoteswill hopefully bring a smile to your face, and can be used for a variety of crafts, like cards, posters, and signs, or for social media captions …Jul 7, 2021 · 11. “I’m gracing you with my presence.”. — Kourtney Kardashian. 12. “You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.”. — Eleanor ... 1. "I always say 'Morning' instead of 'Good Morning,' because if it was a good morning, I would still be in my bed and not talking to people." 2. "Some days you eat salads and go to the gym. Some days you eat cupcakes and refuse to put on pants. It's called balance." 3. "Face your problems, don't Facebook them." 4.1. “I always say ‘Morning’ instead of ‘Good Morning,’ because if it was a good morning, I would still be in my bed and not talking to people.” 2. “Some days you eat salads and go to the gym. Some days you eat cupcakes and refuse to put on pants. It’s called balance.” 3. “Face your problems, don’t Facebook them.” 4.There are no limits to what you can achieve on your journey through life, except in your mind.”. “Stop comparing yourself to other people, just choose to be happy and live your own life.”. 3452 quotes have been tagged as inspirational-life: Roy T. Bennett: ‘Don't be pushed around by the fears in your mind.Nov 19, 2020 - Explore Kerrie Milhorn's board "smartass jokes" on Pinterest. See more ideas about jokes, funny quotes, minion jokes.Often the best clever quotes are actually making fun of the person saying them, which shows that some very clever people enjoy making fun of themselves, instead of others. Humor is a great way to soften the blow of …Whatever your goal, you can get there if you’re willing to work.” —Oprah. “Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself.” —Harvey Fierstein. “Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” —Albert Einstein. And the world's biggest smartass award goes to... Related comedy Funny Pictures. Go To Homepage. Before You Go. You're Not Helping ... 22 Of The Funniest Tweets About Cats And Dogs This Week (Feb. 18-24) ... NEWS POLITICS ENTERTAINMENT LIFE VOICES HUFFPOST PERSONAL SHOPPING NEWSLETTERS.Nov 1, 2022 - Explore Christi Flynn 's board "Birthday and Smart-ass Memes", followed by 903 people on Pinterest. See more ideas about funny quotes, birthday humor, happy birthday meme. Funny Smartass Quotes? "If life was fair, Elvis would still be alive and the impersonators would be dead!""When a man falls overboard, you say MAN OVERBOARD! When a woman falls overboard you scream: FULL SPEED AHEAD!""Statistics show married men live longer than unmarried men, but married men are more willing to die.""Three …12. Life always offers you a second chance. It’s called tomorrow. 13. My six pack is protected by a layer of fat.14. When nothing is going right, go left.15. If you have crazy friends you have everything you’ll ever need. 16. Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious.17.Aug 28, 2020 - Explore Enchanted Tea's board "Badass quotes" on Pinterest. See more ideas about badass quotes, quotes, life quotes.10. Roses are red, violets are blue, your dong is massive, I want to blow you. 11. Roses are red, the sun is shining, but my mental health is rapidly declining. 12. Roses are red, violets are blue, I love you, let’s go screw. 13. Roses are red, violets are blue, it’s gonna take dental records to identify you. 14.Sep 19, 2023 - These sassy sarcastic quotes fuel our day, every day. It's like the vision board that personifies us. We're sassy, sarcastic, quirky, snarky, and smartass-y! Churchill on Attitude. "If you are going through hell, keep going." "Kites rise highest against the wind, not with it." "I am easily satisfied with the very best." "Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm." "Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen."Sarcastic Kitchen Quotes. No Bitchin’ In My Kitchen. Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, so they say. But when it comes to kitchen quotes, some of those sarcastic sayings are also the funniest. Annoying the cook will result in STARVATION. Calories don’t count on the weekend. Cheese – Milk’s leap towards imortality.May 17, 2023 · Witty Quotes to Sharpen Your Cleverness. “When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye!!!!!”. “Arguing with a fool proves there are two.”. – Doris M. Smith. “Better a witty fool than a foolish wit.”. – William Shakespeare. catchy clever quotes. “If we cannot be clever, we can always be kind.”. – Alfred Fripp. “I believe that if life gives you lemons, you shoLooking for quotes that will ignite a fire One is as though nothing is a miracle. Th

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Smartass When Biden stopped off at a frozen custard shop in Milwaukee back in 2010, the manager offered him a dessert for free if the veep cut taxes, Fox News reported.Sep 19, 2023 - These sassy sarcastic quotes fuel our day, every day. It's like the vision board that personifies us. We're sassy, sarcastic, quirky, snarky, and smartass-y! Funny quotes about marriage. 1. “My advice to you is get married: If you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.” —Socrates. 2. “If you want to be sure ...1. “When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.”. – Unknown. 2. “Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.”. – Billie Burke. 3. “Change is not a four letter word… but often your reaction to it is!”. – Jeffrey Gitomer.Funny how to diet quote. 21. If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. - Abraham Lincoln. 22. Food is a lot of people's thereapy - When we say comfort food, we really mean that. It's releasing dopamine and serotonin in your brian that makes you feel good. - Brett Hoebel.5. “Life is short, and every moment is precious.”—. Gad Saad. Don’t forget to read these positive affirmations that help bring you joy and success in life. 6. “You may delay, but time ...May 9, 2019 - Explore Krystal Keyser's board "Funny & Smart Ass Memes", followed by 578 people on Pinterest. See more ideas about funny, smart ass, memes.Aug 5, 2022 · Thomas A. Edison. “Success is largely a matter of holding on after others have let go.”. – Unknown. “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”. – George Bernard Shaw. “Try not to become a person of success, but rather try to become a person of value.”. – Albert Einstein. “Start where you are. Well, not for cute kids per se, but for capturing and posting their funny quotes about love, life, and the universe. The app called Little Hoots is helping parents quickly document these wise and wonderful baby quotes on the go. Now they can share every side-splitting and heart-warming little word for the world to see.Sep 22, 2018 - Explore Lisa Cyphers's board "Smartass Quotes" on Pinterest. See more ideas about smartass quotes, quotes, funny quotes. If you’re looking for funny quotes to make you smile, to give a toast with, or to send to a loved one, you’ve come to the right place. We’ve curated the best funny quotes and sayings that cover everything from everyday life to relationships and even work!Jun 2, 2020 - Explore Heather Elie-Gray's board "Smartass quotes" on Pinterest. See more ideas about funny quotes, quotes, smartass quotes.5 Smart Ass Sayings. Five funny quotes. Humorous one liners. Sarcastic sayings. A Guide for the Survival of Humankind and Helping the World, Society, and Yourself. HOME; ... The Purpose of Life is for DNA to reproduce. by Phil for Humanity on 04/30/2007. Related Articles » 5 More Wise (Ass) SayingsSome good birthday toasts include, “Here’s to You! May you celebrate a lifetime of birthdays and may each one be the birthday of a lifetime,” and “Happy birthday. May you always see life in a large way and, more importantly, in large print....Breakup Quotes. Quotes tagged as "breakup" Showing 1-30 of 1,045. “I think you still love me, but we can’t escape the fact that I’m not enough for you. I knew this was going to happen. So I’m not blaming you for falling in love with another woman. I’m not angry, either. I should be, but I’m not. I just feel pain. A lot of pain.2. “I’m not rude I just have the balls to say what everyone else is thinking.”. 3. “The most dangerous phrase in any language is “We’ve always done it this way.”. 4. “I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.”. 5. “Why be moody when you can shake yo booty”. 6. “Losing everything might be the greatest gift in disguise, as it liberates you to pursue your true passions.” – Unknown “Sometimes losing everything is the necessary step towards finding your purpose.”105. ←Rate | 09-28-2023 07:19 Comments ( 0) “Neve16. Being smart is always reading other pe

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May 9, 2019 - Explore Krystal Keyser's board "Funny & Smart Ass Memes", followed by 578 people on Pinterest. See more ideas about funny, smart ass, memes.Happy birthday son in law! You are like our son and we’ve treated you that way since the beginning. May you always retain your gentle smile and kindness. To our son-in-law, happy birthday! Happy birthday to a great son-in-law. We couldn’t get a better husband for our lovely daughter. Thank you son for everything.2. “I’m not rude I just have the balls to say what everyone else is thinking.”. 3. “The most dangerous phrase in any language is “We’ve always done it this way.”. 4. “I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.”. 5. “Why be moody when you can shake yo booty”. 6. Currently, approximately 52% of Americans have some degree of life insurance. Additionally, about one in three Americans is covered solely by a private policy, and one in five is protected both by an employer policy and private life insuran...Sarcastic Quotes about life “Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.” ~ Anonymous “Life is hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid.” ~ John Wayne “When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in peoples’ eyes.” ~ Anonymous “Why do we spend so much time looking for intelligent life on other planets?Unlike other literary tools, quotes and short quotes, in particular, give you the ability to concentrate on one idea with no outside distractions. So whether it’s for self-motivation, your next t-shirt design, or simply for your Instagram bio, this collection of short quotes is full of powerful ideas packed into tiny little packages of words.31. "Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."—. Oscar Wilde. 32. " The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are ...There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” -Drew Carrey. “There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?” -Kin Hubbard. “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” -John Gotti. Thomas A. Edison. 6. "If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things."-. Albert Einstein. 7. "Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game ...A man should be upright, not be kept upright. -Marcus Aurelius. “I don’t sweat for pounds, or inches, or a dress size. I sweat to make my outside match my inside.”–. Amber Dawn Hunter. “You don’t have to be an expert. You just have to care.”. – Mariska Hargitay. If you don’t like my attitude, quit talking to me. Smartass Quotes About Work | You don’t have to hold on to your sarcasm just for your relationship. Let it out a bit at work, too! Quotes About Surrounding Yourself with Happiness | The important thing about your relationship is that you are overall happy. Happiness is the key. Best Quotes about Living with Intention | You should have ... Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats. - Voltaire. “. Whatever you are, be a good one. - Abraham Lincoln. “. Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. - Buddha.The price for a life insurance policy can vary dramatically, often running from $132 to $9,696 per year. There are many reasons for those price differences, as a lot of factors affect life insurance quotes.Amere Mortal Online Store > Smartass Quips and Quotes. They say laughter is the best medicine, so spread some joy and good health with one of these humorous designs. Treat yourself or a loved one with one of these smartass quips on t-shirts, coffee mugs, stickers and much more.Find and save ideas about smartass quotes on Pinterest. The most hilarious smartass quotes can help you express yourself, show people you’re smart, and get a laugh from them or just yourself. We all have feelings, and sometimes, those feelings are specific. The stars align, the planets are in shift, Mars is in retrograde, and we just don’t care. 14-jan-2023 - Bekijk het bord "Bullet quotes" van Nele Claes op Pinterest. Bekijk meer ideeën over citaten, teksten, inspirerende citaten.6. "Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it." 7. "The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity." 8. "Never argue with an ...Jun 1, 2019 - Explore Stephanie McGregor's board "Really Funny Stuff. . . (adults only)", followed by 194 people on Pinterest. See more ideas about funny, bones funny, funny quotes. Witty Quotes to Sharpen Your Cleverness. “When life gives y